How do you structure a question so that it invites a group to genuinely be in dialogue?
I am always exploring this question, because as a facilitator, I know that one of the most powerful tools I have to guide a group to engage in dialogue are the questions I ask. The right questions can empower participants to express their different perspectives, and use the points of difference in what they’re sharing to actually deepen the curiosity and understanding between them. The wrong question however, can potentially encourage combative communication patterns and drive disconnection among participants.
Luckily, as facilitators, the questions we ask are one of the things we have most control over.
In this post, I will share with you three practical strategies for improving your questioning as a facilitator, when you want to encourage participants to dialogue (rather than debate) across one another’s different perspectives.
A Crucial Considerations Before We Begin
Make sure that dialogue is what you want to get. This means that you can enthusiastically answer “YES!” to both of these questions:
- Am I open to hearing everyone’s/anyone’s honest answer to this question?
- Do I think that hearing various perspectives/experiences will enhance the learning of the group?
Often, we don’t really want a bunch of perspectives; we are looking for one or two specific answers— which is perfectly valid! But, if this is the case, make sure your question doesn’t indicate otherwise. I might even say something like: “Alright so, I’m trying to see if anyone can give me the answer I’m looking for…”
When we aren’t clear about the intentions behind our question, we risk eroding the trust between us and the participants. When we ask a dialogue-based question but are not actually open to all perspectives, participants who pick up on it may feel manipulated.
So, when you ask a question that invites dialogue, it means that you have decided that the exploring of different viewpoints in the room (whatever they may be) is the best way participants can achieve the learning— the sharing IS the learning.
This point underscores the importance of formulating a question you genuinely want the answer to. So let’s get into it:
1. Invite participants to tell a personal story
The first strategy is to invite participants to tell a personal story. This means that the question does not ask them about their opinions about a topic, instead, it asks them to reflect on their personal, lived experience in relation to that topic.
So, let me give you an example. These are opinion-based questions:
- Is wealth inequality a problem at our institution and why?
- How does wealth inequality impact people’s experience here?
To change this into a question that would invite participants to tell stories about their personal experience, I could ask instead:
- How have you seen wealth differences impact the relationship between people at our institution?
- What have your experiences been with wealth inequality in our institution?
- When were you first aware of your level of wealth compared to that of others here?
Notice that this makes participants have to own that their response is subjective and personal. And that’s ok! In a dialogue we don’t need to pretend that we are neutral, third-party observers simply reciting “objective facts”. Our personal, subjective experience is more valuable for the learning!
Which leads me to my next point… make sure you can stand behind your question.
Your question should serve you and support your teaching objectives. Let me tell you why that is useful. Say that in response to the question above, a participant—let’s call them Steve— starts going off about their political views on how “poverty is a state of mind; that poor people are often lazy; and that this really isn’t the problem of the institution”.
Eesh. BUT, since I can stand behind my question, I could say something like “Ah Steve, thanks for sharing, but that actually wasn’t my question. Let me repeat, I asked you: “When were you first aware of your own level of wealth compared to that of others here?”
Ta-daa! That’s an answer I actually hope Steve will ponder and share. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think the group benefits from hearing Steve’s abstract views on poverty at this moment. So, making sure you can stand behind your question saves time and helps everyone stay on track.
2. The Why-free Inquiry
This next strategy is all about dropping the word ‘why’ from your dialogue questions and instead starting them with “what” or “how'”. This might seem counterintuitive, since “Why” is often thought of as a really good open question starter. But, if explorative dialogue is your goal, starting with “Why” is often less desirable than starting with “How” or “What”. Let me explain.
Starting with “why” can put the person on the receiving end of the question defensive. Of course this depends on the tone, but in general, if a person is asked “Why do you think this?” they are more likely to give a scripted response that’s meant to show why what they think is the right thing to think.
Whereas if someone is asks “What drives you to think this?”, “How did you come to this line of thinking?”, “how did this come to be?”, the person is typically going to sense that they have more space to be open and honest.
This is a powerful shift, and often all it takes is a few seconds to think through how your ‘Why’ question can become a ‘What’ or a ‘How’ question. I’ve started doing this consistently, both in my facilitation practice and also in personal conversations, and the difference has been really significant. Try it and see!
3. Process-Based Questions
This type of question is great for those times when you feel like the group has gotten off track. Let’s say that participants are starting to get combative and the conversation is devolving into a debate rather than a dialogue.
So, what do you do? And how could this intervention be posed in the form of a question that involves the group?
Well, you ask a question about your question. This means that as the facilitator, you are stepping back and making an observation about what you are observing in the room, and then asking the participants about it.
So, this might look like saying, “I notice that this question is bringing up strong feelings for many of you, can I ask you, what are some experiences that have moved you to feel strongly about this?” or “I noticed many of you got really quiet when Steve said ___, can you help me understand why that might be?” or “I notice that this is turning into a debate. Remember, we really want to stay in dialogue. What are some ways that we can pivot this conversation back to that place?”
What are your strategies?
That’s it for me— at least for this post! What are your strategies for inviting dialogue? Is this something you’ve thought much about? Please share below if you feel called!