A name is oftentimes the first thing someone tells us about themselves. It’s one of the starting points for understanding who they are. We tend to make quick judgments based on names: Does their name sound feminine or masculine? Is it easy or difficult for us to pronounce? Can we infer something about the person’s cultural or religious background?
But beyond these initial assumptions and the strategies we come up with to remember people’s names, we rarely give names any more thought. This represents a missed opportunity. Exploring the stories behind people’s names can unlock a treasure trove of insights into who they are, and even deepen our understanding of how the world works. This is what this activity is all about!
A few considerations before we start
I first learned about this activity when I took part in a workshop years ago. I remember being deeply moved my what I learned about people in my group. How could such a seemingly banal prompt… help reveal so much?
I later read about this activity in two different books about inclusive education (linked below). It turns out it’s a pretty common activity in this sphere. And for good reason!
- Teaching and Learning for Intercultural Understanding by Debra Rader
- Teaching with Tenderness by Becky Thompson
Before we begin, I want to issue an important caveat for facilitators to consider. Due to the relationship between our names and legacies of power/oppression, doing this activity involves varying levels of risk for participants. So, it is important that you build choice into the activity, including the option to not participate. Also, based on the classroom, one version may be more appropriate to run over another. Anyway, I just wanted to flag this but I trust you to make the right call 🙂
Shorter version
If I only have a relatively short time to run this activity, I start by asking participants to arrange their chairs in a circle (always my first choice if it’s available to us). I tell them that: “Today we’re going to learn more about each other by sharing a little bit more about the story behind our names.”
In that story, each person can include:
- The correct pronunciation of their name
- If they have a nickname they like and where it is from
- The meaning of their name (if they know it)
- I encourage participants with several names in different cultures to share all of their names
- How the participant feels about their name
Participants should be encouraged to share whatever they are comfortable with. Encourage them to share whatever they feel compelled to share, that would allow us to know them better.
After giving instructions, we are ready to go! I like to start off as the facilitator so that I can model some vulnerable sharing and then I hand it off to another participant, who hands it off to another (and so on, until everyone has gone). Of course, if the group is really large, then I might break us up into smaller groups to speed up the sharing process.
This activity is great because it allows for some deeper sharing, but there is a lot of choice built into it — we can choose to share really personal things or just keep it light and fun. It’s very accessible: participants usually find it easy to share a little bit more about their names because that’s a story that we’re all familiar with, even though we are rarely (if ever!) asked to tell it.
Expanded Version
I also like to facilitate a longer version of this name activity, which takes about 2 x 45-minute blocks. During the first block of time, I start by writing the words “FIRST NAME” and “LAST NAME” on the white board (option to add “MIDDLE NAME”). From there, I ask students a series of questions and document their answers:
- How do we get our first/last name?
- What might influence/inspire the decisions of the people who name us?
- Why might someone change their first/last name later in life?
- What cultural traditions exist around this?
- What are some of the obstacles people might face in changing or keeping their names?
Once the students have generated many ideas, I like to share the stories of people from different backgrounds recounting the story of their names. I like to pick a few from the resources below, but you can find more by googling “the story of my name” and browsing around.
- That Moment You Learn The Meaning of Your Name
- What Does Your Asian Name Mean?
- Porsha Olayiwola – Unnamed
- Malcolm X on his last name
- For trans Americans, changing your name can still be a matter of life and death: https://qz.com/651310/for-trans-ameri…
- “Renaming Indians”: http://nativeamericannetroots.net/dia…
- Identification Numbers and the Holocaust: https://www.euronews.com/2020/01/24/a…
By familiarizing participants with these stories, I seek to highlight some of the many important facets of identity that are captured in a name. Names can carry with them histories of oppression, of assimilation, of slavery, of adoption, of liberation…
Once we have engaged with several stories, I explain to the group that the next time we meet, we are all going to share the story of our own names. So, I would like them to do some background research into their own names, drawing inspiration from what we have learned today. In the next class, we will each share a 2-3 minute story about our name.
The next session dedicated the story of our names is run like the “shorter version” described above.
The only difference is that the round of sharing takes a lot longer, because the students have much more to share. There is usually a wide range of vulnerable personal experiences and family histories that students bring. It can be a very moving activity and students will (hopefully!) feel a lot more connected to one another at the end of the session.
Once everyone has shared, I like to lead a finaly debrief discussion. I like to ask them these questions:
- How did it feel to do this activity
- What was surprising about it?
- Why are names an important part of people’s identity?
- Why do we think stripping someone of their name, or forcing them to keep a name they do not want, is used as a tool of control/oppression?
- Are there some contemporary political implications to everything that we’ve been discussing today?
- What lessons are you walking out of the room with that they would like to share with others?
That wraps up the activity! I think it is a simple and fantastic one, and I hope that you try it 🙂